


one for the road

by prequels



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cannibalism, M/M, Necrophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-11
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-26 06:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/962603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prequels/pseuds/prequels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I prefer my girls more down to earth, if you know what I mean.""<br/>"Like, six feet under?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	one for the road

**Author's Note:**

> tw mentions of death, necrophilia, cannibalism ... etc. based on the arctic monkeys song

"Mark! Thank the gods you're here."

Leo rushed over to Mark Duffy, who was just stepping out of the water. The sliver of beach on the far side of the creek (furthest away from camp), with a view of the Long Island sound long after the summer sunset, was littered with half bloods, and Mark Duffy had arrived in just enough time to spike everyone's drinks before they left.

The party had begun to get interesting.

* * *

 "You know," Nico says to the group of people he'd somehow gotten himself into a conversation with, "Just like, twenty minutes ago, I was about to leave -- but now, I'm having the time of my life! Look at me. I've got so many new friends!" He loped his arms around the necks of the two people next to him; people he'd never spoken to before. The guy quickly scooted out from under him but the girl inched her way closer.

"Dude," said the guy, "you reek. How much did you have to drink?"

It was only then that Nico noticed why the diet pepsi hadn't tasted so grand. "I dunno," he mumbled, suddenly self-conscious. "Few." He slunk away form the group and over to another group of kids, sitting down on a log. He'd never been drunk in front of other people before. He knew he could hold his liquor, but he'd unknowingly had a lot to drink.

* * *

 

"I'm trying to get my older sister to visit, bring our younger brother. He's four next week," Austin Anguard drawled, his arm draped over Laurel Gainsworth's shoulder. They sat across the makeshift bonfire that Will Solace had set up with one of his explosive arrows, the temperature and size controlled by  Leo Valdez, who kneeled beside him. "His name's Jebediah."

"Really?" Kayla Ikeman asked. "Who named him."

"Helen Keller," Nico muttered.

"My father," Austin admitted.

"That's so precious," Laurel sighed, leaning into him. "I just love kids."

"Really?" Nico questioned, suddenly taking an interest in the conversation. "On a scale of Jerry Sandusky to Casey Anthony, how much do you love kids?"

Conversation ceased.

"What the fuck, dude?"  Austin scolded, shaking his head. Laurel whimpered, frightened, into his neck.  Sniffles and gulps filled the night. Even Annabeth and Percy, holding hands by the water, looked over in offended surprise.

Leo Valdez shot coke out of his nose.

"Oh, gods," he wheezed, dropping to the ground and holding his stomach. "Hazel told me, but I didn't believe her -- you do have a sense of humor! You're killing me, man."

A fee half-hearted chuckles echoed around, and everyone tentatively returned to their conversations while Leo calmed down.

"That was a good one," said a rough voice. Butch Westing clapped him on the shoulder, sitting down in the spot of sand beside him. "Austin had it coming, flirting with that menace. Wait till he learns how high maintenance she is. I prefer my girls more down to earth, if you know what I mean."

Nico snorted as Leo scooted to join their interaction. "Like, six feet under?" Nico smirked as Butch gasped indignantly. "Yeah, I know the type. I think Daddy's got a special place for you in the Fields of Punishment, right between the Charles Mansons and the Ted Bundys."

"Fuck off," Butch huffed, walking away with a pout as Leo chortled on the ground. 

* * *

 

"Hey, man," a deep voice called. Nico felt a tug on his arm and whipped around to the dark eyes of one Leo Valdez. For a tentative moment, he paused. Then he wrenched his arm out of the boy's grasp and continued away. But Leo followed him, not one to give up easily. "C'mon, man, don't leave."

Nico stumbled a little as he turned back towards Leo. "Don't. It's -- I'm leaving. I don't like, you know, people. And people don't like me.

"That's not true, and you know it," Leo argued. Nico looked doubtful. "I -- I like you. I think your jokes are fucking hilarious. You've got a pretty awesome sense of humor."

The son of Hades snorted. "If by _hilarious_ you meant _offensive_ , then yeah, I feel you."

"No, I meant hilarious," Leo shot back. "So what, if I'm the only one who likes them? Isn't that enough?" Almost embarrassed, but to drunk to truly be so, he produced some extra cokes from his jacket pockets. "We can get drunk and tell jokes about necrophilia together. Alright?"

Nico hesitated, and then snatched a coke with a slight smile. "Alright."

Headed towards their own stretch of beach, they looked back when they heard shouting close to them.

"Austin and Laurel," Leo observed. "Lovers quarrel. What d'you think he'll do after dumping her?"

Nico thought about it for a moment, and then grinned wickedly at Leo. "Probably wipe his ass."

**Author's Note:**

> well incase it was confusing the end was a cannibalism joke


End file.
